The Hunger Games: Peeta's POV
by mrspeetamellark13
Summary: Here's my version of The Hunger Games how Peeta would see things. Please read and review. I love honest reviews!
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1

I wake up before dawn. Again. It's another typical morning at the bakery. People come in early for the freshly baked bread and pastries. The aroma that draws people in on any other day would leave them hungry for the treats. But this isn't any other day. Today is a holiday to the Capitol. A death sentence to us, not that anyone would say so. This is the day of the reaping.

One girl and one boy from each of the twelve districts of Panem will be chosen to sacrifice themselves in a fight to the death. This happens in a ceremony called the reaping. The chosen boys and girls, called tributes, will travel to the Capitol for training and interviews before being thrown into an arena of the Capitols design to watch 23 of the tributes brutally murder each other until one is left standing. The victor. This is what the Capitol does for amusement.

In the store, I see Gale Hawthorne come in for some bread. He's already been out hunting and has a squirrel to show for it. My father gave him a loaf of bread and wished him luck today. He traded easily today because of the reaping. The odds were not in the favor of some and he felt bad for them. Any other day Gale would need much more than a squirrel. But, again, it's not any other day.

I watched, waited, and hoped for Katniss to walk in, too. She didn't show. She always hunts with Gale even though he's 18 and two years older than her. Gale had walked out and still, no Katniss. I don't think she's ever noticed me, but I've seen her come by to trade my father he squirrels. He always says how amazing it is that she hits them in the eye every time. She really is something.

I remember the first time I saw her. It was the first day of kindergarten, the very first day of school. We were just five years old. I remember that being the day I fell in love with her. We were in music class and when the teacher asked if someone knew the valley song, she was the one who did and sang it in front of the class. Her voice was just like her fathers. Whenever he sang, all the birds fell quiet to listen. I heard chirping of birds outside the window, but once the beautiful voice filled the air, they didn't make a sound. Just like for her father.

Earlier that day, my father had pointed her out to me. He said, "See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner."

"A coal miner?" I asked. "Why did she want a coal miner if she could've had you?"

"Because when he sings…even the birds stop to listen."

I had known that she got that beautiful voice from him. I saw in her what her mother saw in her father. I was a goner, just like her mother.

Unlike her parents, nothing would happen between us. She has her father's voice and her mother's beauty. I don't have any great qualities like that. She hunts everyday with Gale and even though they aren't together yet; everyone knows that they will be. I'm going to be stuck working in the bakery forever. I'll have to spend everyday watching them be together wishing it was me that she's with instead of him.

Because of the reaping hardly anyone was out. Like most shops, we closed up early. It was late morning when we did with just a few hours left until the reaping started at two. Most people are at home, hoping they aren't one of the unfortunate families to lose a child to the Hunger Games. My family ate and spent the extra time in a sullen silence before heading over to the square. You would've thought someone just died. Well, I suppose at least one person from out district is about to, more likely that both tributes will. A lot of people have their names in many times, although my brother and I don't have our names in as many times, our parents worry just as much since they have the chance of losing either of us. Only my oldest brother is safe from the reaping since he's over 18. Only 12-18-year-olds are eligible for the Hunger Games.

At two, were all in the square lined up by age. I'm standing with the other 16's as we give each other a few polite nods and wait for the ceremony to start. I spot Katniss and see her looking off at something. I follow her gaze over to Gale. Of course, Gale. He's the one every girl wants but even they know he'll be with Katniss in the end. She's the only one that doesn't know.

I'll forever be invisible to her.

The mayor comes up and starts the same old speech like he does every year. Panem rose from the ashes of the once great North America. There were droughts, storms, and other disasters that he lists in his speech that led up to the creation of Panem. Thirteen districts surrounded the Capitol. Then came the time known as the Dark Days. During this time all 13 districts had uprisings against the Capitol, who defeated 12 of 13 districts and completely destroyed District 13. Because of this the Treaty of Treason was created making new laws in which the Capitol believed to give us peace. One of these new laws was a yearly event known as the Hunger Games. The concept of the games is very simple. In each of the 12 districts, one boy and one girl, known as tributes, will be chosen then forced into a giant arena. The 24 tributes must fight to the death until one tribute remains. That tribute is known as the victor. This is the Capitol's way of reminding us of what happened and how powerful they are. They won't let us forget how easy it is for them to destroy us. To make it even worse the Capitol treats this as a holiday. Sacrificing innocent children brings them joy and entertainment. The victor of the hunger games will not only get to keep their life, but they get a new home in what's known as the Victor Village and enough money to forever give them and their family a life of ease back home.

After the speech, the one and only living Victor that district 12 has stumbles across the stage. There has never been a moment when that man has been sober. That's probably why our district never had a chance at winning. The victors become mentors to new tributes and I doubt that anyone could get any kind of decent advice out of him.

He manages to offset that crazy Capitol lady's hair. The mayor tries to continue the ceremony by introducing her. Effie Trinket. Her only concern at the moment is probably her hair and hoping she'll get bumped up to a better district soon. She sets her signature, "Happy Hunger Games! And maybe odds be _ever_ in your favor!" People in the Capitol have previous accents, very annoying.

"Ladies first," she says, as always, while walking over to the giant bowl with thousands of slips. Each one has the name of one girl in the district. She fishes deep down for one then waltzes back to the microphone. In that moment that she reads off the girl whose odds are most certainly not in her favor a million thoughts run through my mind. I'm relieved that it's not Katniss. That I might finally get up the nerve to talk to her and we will both stay home for me to do so. Stunned at who it really is. And just overall shocked.

No, it's not Katniss. Someone close to her, the closest person to her. A relative. Her 12-year-old sister whose name couldn't be in there more than once; Katniss is too protective to let her put her name in multiple times.

Primrose Everdeen.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Everyone knows Prim. Sweet little Prim. I bet Katniss didn't even let her get tesserae. Her name could be in their more than once or twice at the mountains. How could this have happened? I looked over at Katniss for a moment and see a boy catch her arm when she looks like she's about to faint.

Anyone doesn't know Prim than they at least know of her and most likely everyone is upset that the outcome of this reaping so far. Well, more so than every other year. It's always worse when a 12-year-old goes in, but little Prim. That's as cruel as you can get.

She walks out of the group, up towards the stage as more people whisper angrily and sadly, knowing she couldn't make it out alive. She's wearing Katniss' first reaping outfit, but it's a bit big on her. The blouse comes out of the skirt and the little tale.

"Prim!" Katniss shouts out in a weak voice. "Prim!" Again, stronger, as she moves the crowd. Everyone standing there has already made a path for Prim and Katniss follows.

"I volunteer!" No "I volunteer as tribute!" No! No! NO! She can't. She can't go in the arena. I'll never be able to tell her how I feel. How I've loved her and I want to be with her, to be hers. Always. I'll never even be able to talk to her again.

I understand why Katniss stepped up to save her sister, of course, she would do anything for Prim, but it's still unbelievable that we have a tribute volunteer at all. We've only had a total of two victors in the history of the Games from District 12. Only one of them is a lot. So needless to say, not many people would ever want to step up and volunteer themselves. It's a death sentence.

"Lovely!" Effie's distinguished Capitol accent filled with speakers. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth and then we, um…" She can't even remember. It's been that long, if ever, that we've had a volunteer. She can't even remember the proper way of going about this.

"What does it matter?" The Mayor speaks up. What is that in his face? Not any kind of joy or release. Sorrow? Sadness? No…pain. "What does it matter?" He repeats. "Let her come forward."

Prim is latched on the Katniss and looks determined to never let go of her big sister. She's screaming her head off "No, Katniss! No! You can't go!"

Poor Prim. Losing the one who has taking care of her for years now. Katniss isn't crying, but looks close to it. Trying so hard not to cry. Being tough and strong just like she always has to be; Now more than ever.

"Prim, but go," she yells maybe too harsh at Prim. Gale starts making his way towards them. "Let go!" She yells again.

Just then, Gale pulls the reluctant pram off and says something to Katniss and the voice I can't quite make out, but she turns and walks up the stage towards Effie. "Well, bravo!" Praise this Effie. "That's the spirit of the Games!" In other words 'finally a district that isn't completely dull.'

"What's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen"

"I bet my buttons that was your sister. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" Effie says way too excitedly. No one is clapping. Effie just stands there applauding all by herself to Katniss while everyone else stands in complete silence. To us that means we do not agree and this is wrong.

Slowly, but surely every person in District 12 puts the three middle fingers on the left hand to their lips and holds them up towards Katniss. She looked so shocked. She really has never been one to notice that admiration everyone has for her. This gesture is used too often, mostly at funerals. It means thanks, admiration, or goodbye to someone you love.

At that moment the one and only living victor of District 12, Haymitch Abernathy, stumbles across the stage to Katniss. Throwing an arm across her shoulders drunkenly exclaims, "Look at her! Look at this one culmination point" house she not falling under his weight on her? "I like her!" He continues to holler, "Lots of…" He pauses for a moment, thinking. "Spunk!" He shouts even louder. "More than you! More than you!" He staggers around and points right at the camera as he says that. He looks like he might continue, but is interrupted by himself falling off the stage, unconscious.

Everyone's attention is focused on Haymitch now, but I look up at Katniss. She's trying so hard to stay strong. I wish I could just run up on stage and comfort her. Let her know I'd be there for her, with her. Show her she didn't always be strong for everyone around her. She could fall apart sometimes, if only she'd be open to it. If only she'd be open to me.

"What an exciting day!" Haymitch has messed up Effie's wig making it more of a mess, not like the whole Capitol style looks good to begin with. "But more excitement to come! It's time to choose out boy tribute!" I barely have time to think at all before Effie has made her way across the stage and back again with another little slip of paper with a boy's name on it. Everything happened so fast it took a moment to process the name.

Peeta Mellark.

Crap.

It's my name.

I have to fight to the death with a bunch of strangers who mean nothing to me and the only one, who means anything to me; who means everything to me. How could this day get any worse?

I make my way up to the stage attempting to grasp this and trying to be like Katniss right now, to be strong. She's much better at this than I am. She's had more practice, though. I haven't had many days where I needed to act strong when I wasn't, while that was part of her whole life.

Effie asks for any volunteers and, as I predicted, no one steps forward. This is typical. Most people wouldn't want to be in my place. I don't blame them. If I were them I wouldn't volunteer either. What Katniss did was a rare exception. Even within families, loyalty only goes so far between siblings. Then again Prim always was more like Katniss' child than her sister.

The mayor starts to read the Treaty of Treason. The same one that we've heard every single year. I peek over at Katniss and see something flash across her face. What is it? Recognition. That's it. Does she remember me? The only time we've ever had any sort of interaction was about five years ago. We were eleven. Her father had just died in the mine explosion a few months earlier. I had heard around that her mother just shut down and Katniss had to act as the parent. Anyone could tell money was running out quickly. She wasn't quite old enough for the tesserae yet and it looked like her and her family would starve to death. Many people in our district even though the peacekeepers would claim it was some kind of illness. If that would happen to her it would break my heart. Just seeing her wilt away tore me apart. I don't know how I'd go on if she were here anymore.

When he it was pouring down rain, pretty late and I heard something outside. My mother was yelling at someone sifting through the trash, saying she would call the peacekeepers if they didn't leave. I was right behind my mother peering over her shoulder. I couldn't believe it. Katniss Everdeen. I watched as she went around towards the tree near our pigpen. She collapsed to the ground at its roots. I hurried back inside. There has to be something I could do. I wouldn't just let her starve if I could save her. The bread. The bread that was in the oven. I was starting to take it out but I thought if I dropped the loaves…

They fell into the fire and as I retrieve them my mother came to me and struck me across my face, yelling, "Feed it the pig, stupid creature! Why not? No one decent will buy burned bread!" She pushes me out the back door towards the pigpens.

I can already tell that the well was starting to appear on my face and it'd look much worse at school the next day. It was worth it, though. If I could save her life and she could be happy again, and the moment of pain on my cheek was just a small price to pay. I heard my mother with the customer in the front of the store and I knew no one was paying attention. I was going to walk over to her. I thought it was finally my chance to speak to her after these six long years of admiring from afar. If rupees or to the bread to the pigs then double checked to make sure everyone inside was occupied. As I was about to turn and walk over, I froze. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _I thought to myself. Why couldn't I do it? Why did I have to be so shy?

I ended up just tossing a piece in her direction, then another. I was so upset with myself that I just chucked the rest at the pigs and stormed back inside. Out the window I saw her grab the loaves and quickly take off. _Good,_ I thought to myself._ Now maybe sometime I'll finally talk to her and she'll be alive for me to do so. _

I wondered if she even remembered that or me at all. Did she even realize that I did it for her, on purpose? Does she realize that all that it was out of love and kindness? The next day at school I stole many glances at her. I don't think she even looked at me once. It was a beautiful day, spring was in the air. It came completely out of the blue. For me it became perfect at the end of the school day when Katniss had just gotten Prim started across the schoolyard. She noticed me. Finally. She looked up and her eyes met. She noticed me and remembered. It felt like our eyes were locked for lifetime. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds. I hate again felt that urge to go to her. I again turned away instead. If I had been brave enough to go to her I wouldn't know what to say. I either babble like an idiot or open my mouth with no words coming. Either way I'd look like a fool. Many times after that I catch myself in a trance staring at Katniss, beautiful Katniss, only to be brought back when she looked back at me, making me nervously look away.

And now the first time we have real contact is when we shake hands after the mayor finishes the Treaty of Treason. She looks me in the eye and as I grasp that strong hunting hand, I give was meant to be a heartfelt squeeze. She probably thinks I'm having a spasm or something. I hope we don't end up face-to-face in the arena. I'd never be able to kill her and I'm not sure how I take the one I love trying to kill me.

Oh well, odds are it will hardly even cross paths. Although, the odds have not been entirely in either of our favors.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

The anthem plays as we are led by a group of peacekeepers into the Justice Building. Katniss and I are led into separate rooms. It's pretty nice, full of expensive furniture. Letting us see the best before we die, I guess. They give us one hour for goodbyes before being carted off to the Capitol.

My father comes in first. Although I'm not very close to anyone in my family, I think my father gets me the best. He's not harsh or judgmental and it always was my mother who hit us anyway. When he walks in, there's just a moment of silence then I can't hide my emotions anymore and run towards him. My father told me while I cry as I was just two years old again. We just sat there for a few minutes, maybe longer, and then he talks to me about the bakery and what they'll do without me. _Shouldn't be too hard, _I think only half listening. _According to mother I'm a useless fool who belongs out with the pigs or the trash. _

He understands how hard this year of the games will be for me, and not just because I'm a tribute. After talking a lot, and some more crying, he leaves and I have only a moment till my next visit.

So she did come. My mother burst into the room and although I have no memory of doing anything wrong or punishable, I figured even now she finds something making me arrive at the Capitol with a bruise or a welt. She shocks me though. Instead of a blow to the face she embraces me. What's even more unexpected, I hug her back. After a moment, we sit in silence then she starts talking about the games and having me and Katniss as tributes. There was one thing I heard they captured my attention. I don't really know what she been babbling on about, probably trying to cheer me up or something. He said, "Maybe District 12 will finally have a winner," I was about to smile, thank her, and possibly cry again until she continued. "She's a survivor, that one," What? What! _She? _Did my mother say _she's_ a survivor? I must have heard that wrong. I look in her face and realize she's serious. I heard her right.

My mother, my own mother, rated some of the girls over her own son. Everyone already knows that she has a better chance of winning, but having my own mother say it out loud to my face is just cruel. As much as I wish I could build myself up from that, I know I can't. She really is a survivor, taking care of her and her family for years now. Not an easy job to do, but she could pull it off. People love her. I can tell that she doesn't even notice. She has never been able to see the effect she has on everyone.

Before too long, I'm taken from my room in the Justice Building and in just a short car ride, were at the train station. Great. This is just the cherry on top of my perfect day. It's obvious I've been crying matter how hard I try and hide it and not only that, but the station is packed full of cameras and reporters so everyone can see Peeta the Weakling before he dies in the arena. Katniss on the other hand, shows no emotion. Probably didn't shed a single tear. Now she said goodbye to plan, her mother, Gale, and whoever else came to see her one last time. She probably had tons of visitors, definitely her family. Her future husband was probably there too, wouldn't want to miss out on that. At least now no one can have Katniss. Most likely will both die so I won't have to watch them together, wishing I was dead. Even if one of us does when, which would probably be her, I wouldn't ever have to see them together.

The moment we're on the train, the doors close and we immediately zoom off out of District 12. I start feeling a bit relieved and relaxed. I've never been on a train before and it just about takes my breath away. It's moving at about 250 miles per hour and even though the distances far, it won't take long to reach the Capitol. We've learned all the boring and 'important' things about the Capitol and our country. This is the best place I've ever been.

On the tribute train, we each have our own bedroom, changing room, and bathroom. Effie says I can do anything I want, but dinner is in one hour and I must be ready and there by then. I look around my room for a bit, searching through everything at all the clothes and accessories they fill. That starts to bore me quickly, so I wander around the rest of the train a bit. It doesn't feel like long before I run into Effie who reminds me about dinner in only 15 minutes. I decide to just head towards the dining car now. If I wandered around more I'd probably be late, heaven forbid. I'm almost certain that other than the furniture, of course incredibly expensive, there are a total of roughly five things in that room that are not highly breakable. There are a lot of things in that room. The table is already set with china. There are also vases and other useless items that seem to be there only to be broken. I'm pretty sure that the chair I slide into would cost more than the entire bakery back home.

As I sit I try to not touch anything. Effie would just have a fit if anything here was even cracked. It's not long before Katniss is led in by Effie, who asks way too cheerfully, "Where's Haymitch?"

I had seen him while roaming the train, stumbling through, mumbling about taking a nap, I think.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap," Of course I didn't mention the stumbling or drunkenness, but they could probably have guessed anyway.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day," she sighs. Yeah, that's it. It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact he's so drunk he can barely stand.

We start dinner without him. The food is more amazing than I could ever have imagined. Multiple courses starting with some creamy carrot soup, salad full of greens. Next, we ate lamb chops, mashed potatoes, cheese, and fruit. Finishing it all off was a rich chocolate cake, although all of the food was rich.

As the annoyingly kept telling us we should save room for food to come. I think that was directed more towards Katniss than me as I glance at her a few times seeing her scarf down food. It's as though she'd never get another bite to eat again, but with the Capitol who knows? Towards the end of the main course I almost burst out laughing and can hardly contain myself. Effie says something and Katniss' reaction is priceless.

"At least, you two had decent manners. The pair last year ate everything with their hands like a couple of savages. It completely upset my digestion." I know who she was talking about. They were from the Seam, like Katniss, probably never had enough to eat so I wasn't surprised that they scarfed down the food since it was the first time that they ever had full bellies. My father made sure I grew up right with manners and all. I know Mrs. Everdeen is from the merchant class so no doubt she made sure Katniss and Prim at least acted polite and civilized. That just makes her so much more amazing.

I can see the comment from Effie hit a nerve or something when the scowl on her face deepens and she sets down her fork and knife. She ate the rest of the meal with her hands and to top it off, wiped her hands on the tablecloth. That plus Effie's twisted face was hilarious. I'd probably enjoy it a bit more, even though I grew up with enough to eat, that doesn't mean the food is much better than what others get. This food from the Capitol is so rich it's hard to keep down. I'm pretty sure I'm looking a bit green and I sneak a look at Katniss to see she is, too.

We are taken out of the dining room to watch recaps of the reaping across all of Pam. We see all of the tributes, if you districts have volunteers, but that's mostly just the careers. And, of course, Katniss. As the reaping of District 12 ends, Effie looks very upset about it.

"You're mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior."

This makes me laugh out loud. She was more concerned about a drunkard messing up her way than the fact 24 innocent children are about to fight to the death leaving only one alive. Figures.

"He was drunk," I comment, as I laugh. "He's drunk every year."

"Every day," I turned towards Katniss seeing her smile as she adds on. Her beautiful smile. Stop, Peeta, just stop. You can't think like this. She'll use it against you and kill you. Won't she?

Effie, very disgruntled now, reminds us about our mentor. "Yes, how odd you two find it amusing. You know you're mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be the difference between your life and your death!" She's shouting by the time she finishes.

At that moment Haymitch drunkenly walks in and mumbles, "I miss supper?" As the last word is out of his mouth he vomits everywhere and passes out right in.

"So laugh away!" Effie angrily says as she moves around the vomit and marches out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch 4

For about a minute I just watch as Haymitch attempts to stand from pool he created. The sight and smell almost puts me in the same situation he's in. By the look on her face I can tell they Katniss probably feels the same. Simultaneously, Katniss and I each reach towards Haymitch, me grabbing one arm and her the other.

"I tripped?" Haymitch asked confused. "Smells bad."

If we didn't move him soon he'd probably collapse again.

"Let's get you back to your room," I suggest. "Clean you up a bit."

We attempt to lead Haymitch back to his room, but end up half carrying him. Finally, where in his room and drop him in the bathtub to avoid ruining the bedspread. Once he's in the tub I turned the shower on and I don't think he notice since he didn't react to it. I was about to start helping Haymitch shower when I remembered Katniss still standing there.

"It's okay," I tell her. "I'll take it from here."

I know she wouldn't want to hang around for this and can see it in the relief on her face. If I were her I'd be pretty grateful, too. As I get to work, I wouldn't mind if someone came in and told me the same thing. Even though Katniss offered I wouldn't ever make her do this.

"All right, I can send one of the Capitol people to help you," Yeah, I'm sure Haymitch would just _love _that.

"No. I don't want them," I declined. I probably shouldn't have. It was such a pain getting him undressed and clean. That's just who I am I guess. Just like with the bread, I didn't want Katniss to starve so out of kindness, I helped.

I doubt Katniss realizes, even now, that I was just being nice. She probably has been chance of realizing that as Haymitch has remembering this in the morning.

The next day at school, after the bread and being beaten by my mother, I saw Katniss imprint start walking home. I had done that every day since the very first day I met her. Every day. There is nothing new, but there was something in her, something I hadn't seen since her father died. An oasis follow she started looking better, healthier. Probably when she started hunting on her own.

It took a while to finish up with payments and finally get him into bed. I was exhausted as I made my way to my own compartment, I vowed to myself that one way or another I'd tell Katniss how I feel about her before I die in these Games. As I crawl into my bed I immediately drift off, dreaming of her.

I wake up probably before I need to since Effie is nowhere in sight. As I wander around the train, I found myself in the dining room. I'm about to just keep walking, but spot Haymitch and decide to start talking to him. We need to learn as much as possible before we're thrown into the arena, so why not start now.

I walk in and am surprised to see that for what is probably the first time in over 20 years, Haymitch is a quite drunk yet. He is obviously very hung over and has already started drinking, but no, it isn't really drunk. Yet. I sit at the table across from him and he starts talking first. It's not long before were just chatting effortlessly and the time flies. We mostly talk about district 12 and living there. He says a few things that don't quite make sense, but then again it is Haymitch and I think the alcohol is starting to kick in. It doesn't seem like long before Effie's in here complaining about who knows what under her front and Katniss comes in behind her. Haymitch was just laughing about a story I had told him that was a bit embarrassing for me.

"Sit down! Sit down!" Haymitch motions for Katniss to come over. She sits and is given piles of amazing food that I've already started on a little while ago. Our breakfast contains eggs, potatoes, ham, fruit, and bread. Plus, orange juice, coffee, and my personal favorite, hot chocolate to drink. When I see Katniss look oddly at the brown beverage I tell her, "They call it hot chocolate. It's good."

She takes a sip at first, and then gulps it down, the whole cup before shoving forkfuls of food into her mouth. I'm still eating by the time she's done. She's looking over at Haymitch who is downing so much out the hall will be completely useless by the time we reached the Capitol. Suddenly, I'm beginning to resent him for that. We're going to die because potential sponsors won't be able to make a deal with the drunk who can barely even stand on its own two feet.

"So, you're supposed to give us advice," Katniss says to Haymitch. She serious and wanting to get right down to business, I can tell by the coolness of her voice.

"Here's some advice. Stay alive," Haymitch starts cackling like it's hilarious that we're about to be thrown with experienced fighters, completely clueless.

Katniss and I exchange a glance for just a second when she looks away, like she's mad at me or something. What did I do to her? That look in her eye pulls at my heart. I see that we'll never get anything done at Haymitch doesn't lay off the liquor or at least pace himself.

"That's very funny," I say as I knock the glass from his hand, sending the drink flying, leaving shattered glass everywhere. "Only not to us," I finish.

Haymitch sits for a moment before lashing out at me. I take a blow to the jaw which pushes me to the ground from my seat. As I look up to see him reach for more alcohol, Katniss takes her knife barely missing his hand as she stabs the table. Well, Effie will just have a fit about that, probably an entertaining one.

"Well, what's this?" Haymitch looks at us, surprised. "Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"

I start to get up and grab ice for the bruise I very well know is forming already on my jaw.

"No, let the bruise show," Haymitch objects. "The audience will think you've mixed it up with another tribute before you've even made it to the arena."

Are you kidding? He wants me to pretend that I've fought another tribute. Yeah, right. Not only are we not yet in the arena, but we haven't even made it to the Capitol.

"That's against the rules," I remind him.

"Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, you weren't caught, even better," he seems way too happy about this. Crazy old drunk. Turning to Katniss, he asks "Can you hit anything with that knife besides a table?"

I didn't know before now that she was that skilled with a knife. Everyone knows her for her talent with a bow. She's almost as good as her father was. Her face tightens a bit as she grabs the knife out from the table and throws it into the wall. It hits right between two panels. Damn. I'm going to die so hard.

"Stand over here," Haymitch orders. "Both of you."

We make our way to where he nodded for us to stand in the middle of the room. He circles us while poking around, checking us out, examining us like we're not even human.

"Well, you're not entirely hopeless. Seem fit. And once the stylists get a hold of you you'll be attractive enough."

Yeah, right. The matter what they do Katniss will look stunning while there's a good chance of me looking very ridiculous or just flat out bad.

"All right, I'll make a deal with you. You don't interfere with my drinking, and I'll stay sober enough to help you. But you have to do exactly what I say."

"Fine," I agree. That's what I'm best at. 'Just do as I say' is what I've heard most of my life so why should that change now? I have the feeling that because of her spirit and that fire inside of her, Katniss may have more trouble with that.

"So help us," she asks. "When we get into the arena, what's the best strategy at the Cornucopia for someone –"

"One thing at a time," Haymitch butts in. "In a few minutes, you'll be put in the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don't resist," orders Haymitch.

"But –" Katniss objects.

"No buts. Don't resist," he repeats. He takes a bottle and walks out leaving me in Katniss alone.

We head into what seems like a never-ending tunnel through the mountains. The whole time we both just stand in silence. Suddenly, the train starts to slow as we exit the tunnel, filling the compartment with sunlight. We race towards the window to get a view of the Capitol. The cameras have not done it justice. We've only seen it on television before, but now it looks bigger and better than we could ever have imagined. There are so many cars and buildings everywhere, so bright and full color that we've never seen in reality. The people however, are just as wildly dressed as we've ever seen before. Crazy hair, skin designs and color, so unnatural.

Everyone notices and points out a tribute to train coming in. I stand there waving and smiling, but notice Katniss doesn't have the same reaction. She has backed away and has a disgusted look on her face. I look to see her staring at me as I turn when the crowd can't see us anymore.

"Who knows? One of them may be rich," I shrug.

Disbelief spreads across her face. We both know how horrible and pull the Games are. I also know that she'll have no problem getting sponsors while I'll really have to fight for any gift at all. I'll be fighting on my own with no outside help. She's going to be fine. While, yes, I understand her disbelief as to what I did, she doesn't understand how hard the coming weeks will be for me.


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5

So harsh. Do they even realize there is a living breathing person under here? So much scrubbing and plucking and tearing. I try my best not to object, but it's so painful. The prep team, whose names I've already forgotten, are responsible for making me look presentable before showing me to my stylist. There's also too much chatting. I don't know how much longer I can stand that accident the dim Capitol people have. When they finally believe I look human enough, they show me to my stylist, Portia. Do all of the Capitol people have to look so ridiculous? Portia looks like the rest of them with colored hair and crazy clothes.

We have a brief introduction then she circled me, taking in every inch of my fully exposed body. When she was done taking it all in, I was told to put on the robe that I had been able to have on for certain points while the prep team worked. I followed her into another room to talk about the opening ceremony. We walked in and across from each other on couches with a small table in the middle where lunch was served. Yet another expensive meal from the Capitol. If half of District 12 pooled their money there still wouldn't be a definite chance of affording this one meal in front of me.

As we begin eating there's a bit of small chit chat, mostly from my stylist, before we really get down to business.

"So about your costume," she starts. "You know what we usually do for the ceremonies, right?"

"Sure, everyone dresses as the industry of their district. So for 12 that's coal," I answer. A coal miner's outfit. Same thing every year, except one when the tributes went naked, but covered in coal dust.

"But we don't want to do what's usually been done."

'Great' I think. 'We'll be naked, like that one year. One of the first times I'm going to be close to Katniss, seeing her, talking to her and I'm going to be naked. Oh God, so will she. As if I wasn't nervous enough about it they have to go and take all our clothes, too.'

Not like I can really say all of that to her. "So what are you going to do to us?" I ask.

"Since people are already talking about District 12's tributes, Cinna, Katniss' stylist, had the idea to make the both of you unforgettable for sure."

'Naked! I knew it!'

"We're going to focus more on the purpose of coal. And the purpose of coal, is to burn it," she says as a sly smile crosses her face.

What the hell are they going to do to me?

A few hours after that, I'm in my costume. I'm almost positive it's going to be the death of me. There is a chance of this turning out to be the most amazing thing in the history of the opening ceremonies. We have an all black outfit. A black unitard that goes from neck to ankle, boots up to my knees made out of leather, a cape and a headpiece. The cape and headpiece, though, aren't black. The cape is long and flowing made from red, orange, and yellow material to make it look like fire. The headpiece matches perfectly. It seemed safe enough to me, but of course there's a catch. The parts of the costume that are colored will be set on fire. Yeah, right. A man I just met wants to set me on fire. Why did we promise Haymitch to do everything the stylists tell us? We're going to die. Cinna keeps reassuring us that it's safe, but I don't really trust him.

"It's not real flame, of course, just a little synthetic fire Portia and I came up with," yeah, well, it looks pretty real to me. If it looks like fire, feels like fire, and smells like fire, I'm guessing it is fire. "You'll be perfectly safe," if kind of looks like were going to die to me. Perfectly safe or charred beyond recognition; sounds like a chance I don't want to take.

Portia is saying something about how great the costume turned out or something, but I'm not really listening. I'm watching Katniss. She looks absolutely stunning. No doubt people will remember her. She'll have no problem getting sponsors in the arena. Any chance I have of people remembered the will all be because of her. Neither of us wears much makeup. The stylists are going for more of a natural look so people can recognize us later. She has the same long braid she had for years now my hair is greased back. It's not my normal look, but the actual enough, I guess.

Everyone is so loud that I can barely overhear Cinna talking to Katniss. "I want the audience to recognize you when you're in the arena," he used too happy about the outcome of this so-called brilliant idea. "Katniss, the girl who was on fire."  
Everyone is way too excited about all of this, but as I looked over at Cinna, he has a tired expression as people congratulate him. We're led to some stables that hold the horses and chariots for us to ride in on.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

In the Training Center, there's a tower just for the tributes and everyone with them. We live here until the start of the Games. There's one floor for each district and your floor is the number of the district you're from. Being from 12, we have to press 12 and go to the top floor. I've pretty much only been in an elevator once, in the Justice Building back home, when I was called at the reaping. This elevator doesn't compare to that one. Back home, it's smelly and old and creaky and very much makes you think you might die right there. This one, you can see through the crystal to the ground below. You can watch everyone under you as the elevator brushes up to our floor. It's breathtaking; the speed of it.

Effie and Haymitch will be with us along with our prep teams. Effie, we know, will get us everywhere we need to be when we need to be there. She's very prompt while Haymitch has been missing for quite a time now. In fact, the last time I saw him, we were on the train. He said he would help us, and now he's disappeared. Figures. He's probably too drunk to help or passed out anyway. On the other hand, Effie is excited about what an impression we made at the opening ceremony. Most of the time 12 is barely noticed. She complements us on everything, obviously our costumes, but also our behavior. Since Haymitch has disappeared, Effie has been talking to that anyone with money and status hoping for good sponsors.

"I've been very mysterious, though," she tells us. "Because, of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me your strategies. But I've done my very best with what I had to work with," she's clearly annoyed about that. "How Katniss sacrificed herself for her sister. How you both successfully struggled to overcome the barbarism of your district." Yeah, _we're_ barbaric. That's coming from the one who is currently helping us prepare to be slaughtered.

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the cold district. But I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns into pearls!" Effie looks so proud that we pretty much have to act like it's the most clever thing ever said. Too bad she's wrong. Coal is coal. Its use is burning, nothing too special happens with it, especially being turned into pearls. Hopefully, the people she's told this to don't know or care about the false comment.

"Unfortunately, I can't seal the sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that. But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary," Effie tells us. Being from the Capitol, she doesn't have much to her, but she is very determined I'll give her that.

My room is larger than our entire house and bakery back home. It's similar to the train as an there's too many things that cost too much. There's no way I'd ever figure out how everything works here. Maybe I could if the Capitol wasn't killing me off so soon. There are buttons and gadgets for everything. I can't even get close out of my closet normally. You have to program it for an outfit. This is ridiculous. At home, most people barely have food and here you have anything you could ever ask for, and more, at your fingertips.

I don't stay in my room much longer. Instead, I head out and find the stylists on the balcony in the dining room. I walk over and stand watching the Capitol in silence. After a moment I turn and start talking to them. Cinna asks me if I've seen the roof.

"No, I didn't know we could get to the roof," I replied, puzzled.

"Of course you can," as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "It's beautiful up there; you should really check it out." He tells me how to get up there, and then we continue the conversation.

Apparently, Haymitch will actually be showing up. _Finally_, I think._ It's about time he starts doing his job and helps us._

I realize too that this will be interesting since Effie, Haymitch, and Katniss will be put in a room together. I have a feeling this won't go well and I won't do much talking. At dinner we'll be more interested in strategizing that the food won't be much of a priority.

We sit at the table and are offered wine by a man in a white tunic who doesn't say anything. The wine wasn't too bad, but would be better if it were a bit sweeter. As we sit and wait for dinner to start, I wonder if Haymitch will come. He's supposed to, but then again, he hasn't been doing much of what he's supposed to be doing. He does make it, though, right as they start serving dinner. I'm shocked when I see him. He's not filthy and mangled looking. Did he take a real shower? Is he actually somewhat sober? Not once have I ever seen him less than flat-out drunk. During dinner, he's not vomiting or passed out for the first time since we last, so it's also the first time that I've seen him eat anything. Maybe he really could be of some sort of help.

Portia and Cinna must have some effect on Effie and Haymitch since there being much more civilized and polite to each other than before. They also go on about the brilliance of the idea and turn out of the opening ceremony costumes. I sort of tune them out while I start on the meal before me. It's also mouthwatering; mushroom soup, tiny tomatoes in greens, thin slices of juicy roast beef, noodles in a slightly suspicious green sauce, and blue great served with cheese that just melts in your mouth.

I notice the people serving us, all fairly young and completely silent. They just move around us making sure we always have plenty of food and drink before us. I don't drink much of the wine. Just thinking about Haymitch with alcohol makes me sick enough to ask for water after just half a glass of the wine. One of the servers comes out with the cake so beautiful I can hardly believe it. I'd love to do one like it if I had the resources back home. What makes it more spectacular; the girl sets it on fire. The huge flame quickly dins and finally flickers out completely.

"What makes it burn? Is it alcohol?" Katniss asks the girl who served the cake. "That's the last thing I wa- oh! I know you!"

I wonder what Katniss could possibly be talking about. She's probably not from our district; at least I don't recognize her. She has red hair in a very dark shade, and skin so white there's no way she could be from District 12. Most people have dark brown or blonde hair, and few people have fair skin. The girl looks at Katniss with utter horror shaking her head and quickly walking away.

Everyone is staring at Katniss.

"Don't be ridiculous, Katniss. How could you possibly know an Avox? The very thought," Effie says repulsed by the idea.

"What's an Avox?" She asks.

"Someone who committed a crime," Haymitch chimes in. "They cut her tongue so she can't speak. She's probably a traitor of some sort. Not likely you'd know her."

"And even if you did, you're not to speak to one of them him unless it's to give an order," Effie explains. "Of course, you don't really know her."

Poor Katniss. She's really stuck here. She looks like she actually does know this girl from somewhere. I think of something to help her.

"No, I guess not, I just –" she starts before I jump in.

I snap my fingers. "Delly Cartwright." I say the first name that comes to mind. "That's who it is. I kept thinking she looked familiar as well. Then I realized she's a dead ringer for Delly."

Delly Cartwright actually looks nothing like this girl. The girl here has deep red hair, while Delly is blonde. This girl is incredibly skinny, while Delly is more of a meaty girl. Delly is also the friendliest person I've ever met and will not stop talking. This Avox doesn't even have the opportunity or capability for that. The only commonality between them is their complexion. Both of them are chalky white.

"Of course, that's who I was thinking of. It must be something about the hair," Katniss says, probably – hopefully – grateful for the help. I know that she's not used to having people offer help and never thinks she needs it, but I just hope that she wasn't offended by me helping her. I hope she thinks of it as just that: help.

"Something about the eyes, too," I throw in, noticing how everyone calms down after that.

"Oh, well. If that's all it is," Cinna says. "And yes, the cake has spirits, but all the alcohol has burned off. I ordered it specially in honor of your fiery debut."

Even though he might have meant the both of us, it's obvious to just about everyone that Katniss is the real reason to celebrate. I think she's the only one who doesn't realize it. She's the one who worked the crowd while I stood numbly by her side, trying not to make a fool of myself and stay in the chariot.

Once we're done with the cake, the opening ceremonies replay in the sitting room. Most of the tributes in the other districts are very similar in that they are emotionless and stiff. Very few do anything that would make an impression. When we come on, fully ablaze, I realized that no one came anywhere near making a memorable entrance like we did. Everyone in our group, even, 'ahh''s about it when we enter.

"Whose idea was the hand holding?" Haymitch questions.

"Cinna's," Peeta answers.

"Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice," he praises. I never noticed before, but I guess that makes sense. I mean, I noticed how rigid the other tributes were and how it seemed like they hate each other. The fact that we not only noticed the others presence, we embraced that, looking unified instead of divided.

"Tomorrow morning is the first training session. Meet me for breakfast and I'll tell you exactly how I want you to play it," Haymitch is now talking to me and Katniss. "Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk."

Katniss and I had down the hall leading to our rooms. Her room is first in the hallway and I stopped with her when we reach her door and leaned against the door frame.

"So," I start. "Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding a look-alike here," I'm not really sure where this came from. I've always been so shy around her, you scared to work up the nerve to talk to her. Until now, I guess. It's nice though, talking to the one you've been in love with your whole life while remaining fairly stable.

I realize that I don't really know as much about this as I thought I did or as much as I wish I did. I want her to open up to me, to trust me. I don't think he's really done that with anyone since that mining accident. It's hard for her, I can tell by her hesitation. I can also sense that she really does want someone she can talk to, especially now that she's far from home, her family, and friends.

As she stares down the hall, in hesitation, I ask, "Have you been on the roof yet?" She shakes her head. "Cinna showed me. You can practically see the whole city. The wind's a bit loud, though."

I hope she picks up on that. We can go talk where no one will be able to hear or interfere with us whatsoever. I might even be able to finally confess my feelings for her. Who knows?

"Can we just go up?" She asks.

"Sure, come on," I say leading her towards the stairs that has one flight which goes straight to the roof. As we enter into the cool evening air, I notice her catch her breath which makes me turn to see what made her gasp. I understand why as I did myself. The view is amazing. I thought it looked kind of cool during the day, but at night it's completely different. Bright, twinkling lights fill the night sky. Being from a poor district, we're lucky to get even a few hours of electricity a day, therefore, we never see anything like this which makes the view that much more astonishing.

We walk to the railing and can see below us that the Capitol is buzzing with activity and excitement. From the roof we can hear the cars rushing, people talking, and metal clinking. Not many people back home would still be up. Here, it looks like not many people are asleep.

"I asked Cinna why they let us up here," I say trying to start some conversation. "Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?" _Oh Katniss, please respond to me. Please don't leave me here looking like some idiot talking to himself. I already feel enough like one without you ignoring me. All I want is to hear your voice, _I finish in my head.

"What'd he say?" she asks, though I'm not sure if it was genuine curiosity or not.

I breathe a small sigh of relief before answering her. "You can't," I probably should have said more, but I wasn't so sure that was a good idea with how happy I was that she just responded to me. I didn't need to say more, though. I showed her what I meant by reaching my hand out towards the railing until I felt that little sparks that zaps me back.

"Some kind of electric field that throws you back on the roof."

"Always worried about our safety," she says sarcastically. "Do you think they're watching us now?" She asks with uncertainty.

I'm honestly not sure, but I have a feeling they probably are. It's not like we get any real privacy anywhere. Why would here be any different? I don't want to tell her this and scare her too bad that she'll never open up, but I also don't want to lie to her and say there's no way they could be watching us. "Maybe," I compromise with myself. "Come see the garden," I say trying to distract her from that by changing the subject. I'll never be able to get to know her if she's too afraid to say anything.

We walk around to the garden where there are flowers and trees planted in pots everywhere. The wind chimes hanging from the tree branches seemed like a peaceful touch earlier today. Now, they're just really loud. The wind makes them more obnoxious than enjoyable. That makes it kind of hard to hear when you're not right next to someone while they're talking. I look over at Katniss, hoping she'll say something that might ease my growing nerves. She walks over to a blossom and examines it. "We were hunting in the woods one day. Hidden, waiting for game," she whispers so quiet, barely audible.

"You and your father?" I ask knowing the answer before she said it.

"No, my friend Gale," I knew it. I knew that it would be him, but on the bright side she did say friend; nothing more than that. "Suddenly all the birds stopped singing at once. Except one. As if it were giving a warning call. And then we saw her. I'm sure it was the same girl. A boy was with her. Their clothes were tattered. They had dark circles under their eyes from no sleep. They were running as if their lives depended on it," she says. I can almost hear a 'because they did' on the end of that, but I guess it was a bit obvious.

I stood there completely silent for a moment. I was partially waiting to see if there was more since she didn't seem like she was quite done yet. There was another part of me that was too happy and dazed that she talked to me, as in she really opened up to me. I couldn't believe it. I continued to wait for her to continue while I silently caught my breath and tried to get a grip on myself. It seems as though there's a part of the story she was telling herself, but didn't want to say aloud. I, just happy that she was talking this much at all, did not want to press her.

Finally, after what felt like hours with her, but was probably only a minute, she started talking again. "The hovercraft appeared out of nowhere," she starts. "I mean, one moment the sky was empty and the next it was there. It didn't make a sound, but they saw it. A net dropped down on the girl and carried her up, fast, so fast like the elevator. They shot some sort of spear through the boy. It was attached to a cable that and they hauled him up as well. But I'm certain he was dead. We heard the girl scream once. The boy's name, I think. Then it was gone, the hovercraft. Vanished into thin air. And the birds began to sing again, as if nothing had happened."

Oh no, what if they saw her? Would they have told that they weren't the only ones out there in the forest, that there were others? If they had, wouldn't she have a similar fate to one of them now? "Did they see you?"

"I don't know. We were under a shelf of rock," she responds. I think she was unaware of tone in my voice or she would have started laughing at me by now. She seemed a bit out of it, like she was back in the woods that day.

I'm relieved that there wasn't a definite yes, but when I look at here, there's something in her eye that shows they probably did see her. Right then she started shivering with her facial expression still unwavering.

"You're shivering," I say while I take off my jacket and drape it around her shoulders. For a moment I didn't think she'd let me since she leaned back a little as if to step back, but then seemed to change her mind and allow it. She's more accepting and tolerant of me now. I've never known or seen this side of her before, but I'm glad I do now.

I fasten a button around her neck as I ask, "They were from here?"

She nods in response so I continue. "Where do you suppose they were going?"

"I don't know that," she says. "Or why they would leave here."

Really? She wouldn't want to run away from here? There is no one here with any sense of respect, kindness, sympathy, or positive values at all. From what I've been able to see, things are more restricted and enforced here, although you're too brainwashed to realize it. what kind of life is that?

"I'd leave here," I thought aloud. I didn't realize I didn't say it in my head until i heard myself speak. It came out a bit louder than it should have, too. I look around, scared that someone heard or that something might happen. When nothing does, I give a small nervous laugh, "I'd go home now if they let me. But you have to admit, the food's prime," I say covering myself and hoping my comment wont get me into any trouble.

Still fearing someone watching and overhearing us, I'm afraid to stay out here much longer. "It's getting chilly. We better go in," I suggest.

Even though we head in, I don't want to stop talking. I still want to know her. All this time, I thought I knew her, but all I knew was some stuff about her. "Your friend Gale. He's the one who took your sister away at the reaping?" I meant for it to be more of a statement, but it came out as a question.

"Yes. Do you know him?" she asks me. Yeah, right, like I'd really know him. He's the one everyone knows, talks about, and loves. I'm just some guy who goes there and works in the bakery. Hardly anyone even knows my name.

"Not really. I hear the girls talk about him a lot. I thought he was your cousin or something," I tell her. "You favor each other," I say observantly.

"No, we're not related," she corrects. I know he's not really her cousin, although they could be. They have very similar hair color and skin tone. I just wanted to make sure her response wouldn't be something like; "No, we're dating" or "No, he's my boyfriend". Although, she didn't answer in the way I really wanted her to like a confirmation on the fact that they are only friends and nothing more.

I just nod and continue, trying to hide any emotions threatening to show on my face. "Did he come to say good-bye to you?"

"Yes," she says. I can almost feel her eyes burning through my skin. "So did your father. He brought me cookies."

I didn't think anything she would say could catch me off guard. I was wrong. I raise my eyebrows in surprise and attempt to give a somewhat intelligent response. "Really?" Well, he likes you and your sister. I think he wishes he had a daughter instead of a houseful of boys."

This time Katniss is the one who looks a bit startled. It's not as if we've sat down and had regular conversations about them. It's just whenever my father sees them pass, even just one of them, he sighs and might say "sweet girl" or something along those lines. I continue. "He knew your mother when they were kids."

Katniss looks shocked, again. I think all of this history may be a bit much for one night, especially a night like this. It's a bit obvious that her mother hasn't said much about my father or my family at all. She stills tries to be polite about it, though. "Oh, yes. She grew up in town."

When she finished that last comment, we arrived at her door again. She hands me back my jacket and says, "See you in the morning then."

"See you," I respond and start down the hall towards my room before I do something stupid. When I reach my door, I quickly walk inside and lean against my closed door. I close my eyes for a minute and plays back the evening in my head for a moment. I walk to my bed, smiling to myself, happy with how well things went. Hopefully things just keep going up from here.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

I slept very soundly most of the night. Katniss kept popping up in my head during my dreams. I played the evening over and over while I slept. I would dream of certain things happening differently, but no matter what I changed, I always came to the same conclusion: that night was perfect. No matter what I thought of, it couldn't compare to reality. Those were the best dreams I've had in a long time.

However, the Games popped up in my dreams as well, though they were more like nightmares. Different scenes played through my mind. Me dying. Katniss dying. Katniss suffering. Worst of all, I saw us there. She was hurt and so close to dying. There was nothing I could do to save her. All I could do was watch and wait for the moment that death took her from me forever. That's the last thing I remember. I wake with a start from that awful nightmare and roll over to sunlight blinding me through my window.

I get up and stretch before I head towards the shower. Since I just woke up, I'm a bit groggy and out of it. I'm not too sure what I ended up pressing, but something got on me and made me smell a lot better then when I first got up. After I'm clean and dry, I go to the closet to find an outfit already picked out for me.

To by continued...


End file.
